ok so i had the baby shower
it coulda been better but i wasnt gonna have 1 so this works...il go into detail soon,but until then here's the pics...
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new technology
ok now im feeling some type of way after montiers cousin stef came thru with his high tech ass iphone. Now he made us want one it's the shyt already then the fact that its jailbroken makes me envious it connects to the internet thru the phone on the laptop... i have no internet or cable yet in the house so i have to make use of his access while he's here but since he's leaving so is the internet...so i'll return sooner or later. and Carter has a new god daddy it's my buddy banana...these niggas and their electronics i tell u.
my trauma and y im 2 blessed 2 be stressed
ok so i have been thru it all the last few months as if being pregnant wasnt enuff... i coulda lost my life and my child and childs father a much as i hate the bastard thats not wut i want as an outcome in this horrible accident. i swear i wish i could record this for everyone to relive this and realize how much life is a blessing and to not take it for granted. My little young unconcieved little munchkin could have been gone with the blink of any eye. I could have lost everything. as much as i am miserable i'd rather be alive and miserable than making others life miserable as a ghost lmao... I am to blessed to be stressed...hmmm im just tired i just wanna b happy i wish people would understand seeing something coming and not being able to avoid it and the sound and feeling of going 35-40 mph and cant stop smacking a car coming out from a side street and hitting it so hard you hit a parked car...think about being scared everytime you get into a vehicle or behind the wheel... being burned by the air bag and seatbealt and having to crawl out the car you only had for not even a yr... scared being on a ambulance terrified outta ya mind as to what they can say is wrong... imagine not seeing how bad it really was until u had to stay over night in the hospital scared shitless in pain...i'm so blessed
watching her sleep
ok so is it normal to watch people sleep or rather your spouse? I think she has her moments where i love to watch her sleep and when i want to wake her from her sleep lol. Today was one of those days when i wanted 2 watch her sleep but she woke up lol darn. I mean am I crazii or am i that into he and in love that much sheesh? I love her I'm sure u know who she is. She looked so peaceful and is if she didnt already have a baby face already. My poo is really all I could ask for in someone but we go thru so much but i guess its all true love, we been together for almost two yrs. and been messing with each other for almost 4 i love this girl and i guess watching her sleep and snuggling under her huge boobs is only the beginning, i love u babe but i dunno if im normal watching you sleep. lol
greedy genius
ok so im in the atl and i was in xxi and its so many dudes workin in there unlike bmore the lil dudes there r flii... and the forever xxi has a better mens section than we do. this dude had on some slick lil hookup i wish i coulda got a pic but we def. got the name of his fresh kicks... im kinda on them and they fava supras. wut do u think of them...
life as a pregnant woman
ok so I've been pregnant for 30 weeks now and i have been miserable 80% of the time. My sweetheart of a girlfriend has been nothin but caring "when she's not yelling at me for not knowing what I want 2 eat."She means alot to me. I swear through these months I would be nothin without her. I have really been thru alot and so has she and all i can say is I'm still here. I am counting my blessings everyday. As much as my little one was a surprise we now cant wait his arrival i believe he is gonna be a blessing. I love him already but being terrified is only the begining. I feel like my kellz aka montier my other half and carter who hasn't made his debut yet are my life. When I say these are the two who keep me going its the truth. I have fear and happiness its quite the rollercoaster ride but i feel it can only get better from here. From the night terrors, the night sweats, the family drama, the lack of rest, the non fitting of my clothes, and loosing my wonderful figure i want to say i know its worth it but it is so hard to tell with all these melt downs i still feel as if i'm too young. But as we watching move and roll around in my tummy and the sonograms i fall for my sweetheart more and more. So move over Montier here I come lol (carter)
my so called life and what its missing
my life is more than just a rollercoaster it always has its ups and downs my relationship hasnt been the same my brain cant take this thing this thing called life or this thing called love have you ever felt like you always putting it out but not getting it back or for that matter how u want have u ever just felt like your relationship will never b the same as if u still have time to change when it reaally just feels like u waited a lil to late y now y all these issues y all this drama i been taking blows after blows for you and with you and it just seems like its just not good enough i wish i could just roll over and wake up like this was all a dream like this would all be over shes not paying me the attention she use to but she claims im wrong but its coming from the person who always tells me i notice little things so if i notice the little im sure ill notice the big ones like wuts wrong wut did i do? i just ask myself this everytime something goes wrong this thing called life is taking me for an emotional an stressful ride i get this thing all the time where i keep being tol stress is a killer yea you think can you imagine how many times ive been in the hospital over the last couple months clearly enough for my doc. to prescribe me what they call a prescription and i consider the anti-happy pill that you become addicted to so no i wont take it but who knew stress can come with so many side effects i should now 1st hand... but my love life is so jacked up when i just want her to really understand and see wut i see i'm not perfect but i wanna be for her or any relationship your in i think that should be tha case i cant even get a job in this recession i dont ask for much but i ask for love i ask for little things which seem to big... whats nothing to you may be something to me...i mean im in love with this girl but i got so much going on and so doe she im like jigga i want that old thing back but its so hard when you got the new shyt draining the whole relationship who am i i no longer know just my writings on the wall which i believe can be just as invisible as whats written all over my face this hurt and pain i can't bare... it's so many qualities i love so many i cant stand if i could mesh those beautiful qualities with the side of me u admire and what i am looking for you would be the total package but am i wrong for that cause i dont look at it like im tryna change you but more so help because you've change me for the better im lost please find me not leave me and make sure if you have to put me on a leash with a lock and key just like you did to my heart i just want happiness and love with that touch of swagg you use to have i'm missing it this swagg shyt is real and when u find me make sure not to loose you in the process and when you decide to stop running from the problems and actually face them make sure u keep the drama far away before u have to run again but this time dont look back kells u r my backbone and im loosing you
scattered thoughts the beginning
today, today hmm lets see im feelin a little better than normal...i have alot of catching up to do. I have been going through alot but i think its all coming back slowly but surely. and i was informed that i was loosing myself in all the stress and life a drama queen... I dont know what to do sometimes when its just way to much to bear. My thoughts are just everywhere ( i know youve had these moments). Then you have so many people in you ear. I have never loved a person like i love my girl but still have love from a past relationship yea im putting it out there so clearly she knows. How do you let go of something you once had so strong, at the looks of it thats what im doing,gotta keep my head up ugh...
kinda feeling superhuman
this song means alot to me my baby makes me feel superhuman and its nothing in this world i wouldnt do for her. but we've been through so much and i just wanna make things right but im so torn what do you do when your so gone in love but so lost in your feelings.
Super Human - Chris Brown featuring Keri Hilson
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